Helping Your Child Feel Safe: 8 Ways to Support Kids Through Big Changes
How to Help Your Children Feel Loved and Secure During Hard Times
Change is hard. It is even harder when you are a child. Kids do not always have the words to explain how they feel. They may not understand why things are different now. But they do feel it. They feel the stress. They feel the fear. They feel when something is not right.
If your family is going through a big change, your child needs you now more than ever. The good news is that you do not have to be perfect. You just have to be present. Small, simple things can make a big difference in helping your child feel safe and loved.
At Cherish Families, we walk alongside parents and children during some of life's hardest moments. We know that healing happens together. Here are 8 ways you can support your child through big changes.
1. Keep Routines as Steady as You Can
When life feels out of control, routines bring comfort. Kids feel safer when they know what to expect. Even small things like bedtime, mealtimes, and morning habits can help.
You do not need a perfect schedule. Just try to keep some parts of the day the same. If bedtime was always at 8:00, try to stick with that. If your child always had a snack after school, keep that going.
Routines tell your child, "Some things are still the same. You are still safe."
If everything has changed and old routines are not possible, that is okay. You can make new ones. Let your child help pick a new bedtime story or a new way to say goodnight. This gives them a sense of control when so much feels uncertain.
2. Let Your Child Have Big Feelings
Children feel things deeply. They may cry, yell, or shut down. They may act younger than they are. They may have trouble sleeping or not want to eat. These are normal responses to stress.
When your child shows big feelings, try not to fix them right away. Instead, just be there. Sit with them. Let them know it is okay to feel sad, scared, or angry.
You can say things like:
- "It is okay to cry. I am right here."
- "You seem upset. Do you want to talk about it?"
- "I know this is hard. I am not going anywhere."
Your calm presence helps your child feel safe enough to let those feelings out. Over time, this helps them heal.
3. Tell the Truth in Simple Words
Kids know when something is wrong. Even if you do not tell them, they can feel it. Hiding the truth can make them more scared because their imagination fills in the blanks.
You do not have to share every detail. But you can tell them what is happening in a simple and honest way.
Use words they can understand. For example:
- "We are moving to a new home. It will be different, but we will be together."
- "Mom and Dad are having a hard time right now. It is not your fault."
- "Some things are changing, but I will always love you and keep you safe."
Let your child ask questions. Answer them honestly, but keep it short. If you do not know the answer, it is okay to say, "I do not know yet, but I will tell you when I find out."
4. Watch for Signs of Stress
Children show stress in different ways. Some kids talk about their worries. Others hold it inside. Pay attention to changes in how your child acts.
Signs of stress in children can include:
- Trouble sleeping or bad dreams
- Stomachaches or headaches with no clear cause
- Being more clingy or not wanting to leave your side
- Acting out or having more tantrums
- Going back to younger behaviors, like thumb-sucking or bedwetting
- Not wanting to play or losing interest in things they used to enjoy
- Being very quiet or pulling away from others
If you see these signs, your child may need extra support. This does not mean you are doing something wrong. It just means your child is trying to cope with something hard. With love and patience, they can get through it.
5. Be a Safe Place for Your Child
Your child needs to know they can come to you with anything. They need to feel safe talking to you without fear of getting in trouble or being brushed off.
This means listening without judgment. It means not reacting with anger or panic, even if what they say surprises you. It means making time for them, even when you are tired or stressed yourself.
You can create safety by:
- Getting down to their level and making eye contact
- Putting away your phone and giving them your full attention
- Saying things like, "You can always tell me how you feel"
- Not interrupting when they are trying to talk
- Thanking them for sharing, even if it is hard to hear
When your child knows you are a safe place, they will come to you when they need help.
6. Take Care of Yourself Too
You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you are worn out, stressed, or running on empty, it is hard to show up for your child the way you want to.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is one of the best things you can do for your family.
Try to:
- Rest when you can, even if it is just a few minutes
- Eat regular meals
- Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling
- Ask for help when you need it
- Give yourself grace on hard days
At Cherish Families, we believe parents deserve support too. You are going through something hard. It is okay to not be okay. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
7. Stay Connected as a Family
When things are changing, connection matters more than ever. Your child needs to feel like they are still part of a family. They need to know they are not alone.
You do not need fancy activities or big plans. Simple moments of connection can make a big difference.
Ideas for staying connected:
- Eat at least one meal together each day
- Read a book together before bed
- Take a short walk outside
- Play a simple game or do a puzzle
- Talk about one good thing that happened that day
- Give extra hugs and say "I love you" often
These small moments remind your child that even though things are changing, your love for them is not.
8. Get Help When You Need It
Sometimes, children need more support than a parent can give on their own. That is okay. Asking for help is a brave and loving thing to do.
Cherish Families has trained, trauma-informed therapists who work with children, teens, and adults. These therapists understand what your family is going through. They use kind, gentle methods to help kids process big feelings and hard experiences.
Counseling can help children:
- Learn ways to feel calm when they are scared or upset
- Talk about their feelings in a safe space
- Work through confusing or painful memories
- Build confidence and feel stronger inside
You do not have to wait until things get really bad to ask for help. If your child is struggling, or if you just want some extra support, we are here.
You Are Doing a Good Job
Parenting through hard times is one of the hardest things you will ever do. There will be days when you feel like you are not doing enough. But the truth is, your love matters. Your presence matters. The fact that you are reading this and looking for ways to help your child shows how much you care.
You do not have to have all the answers. You do not have to do this alone. At Cherish Families, we are here to walk with you every step of the way.
How Cherish Families Can Help
Cherish Families provides wraparound support for individuals and families, especially those from polygamous backgrounds or high-control groups. Our services include:
- Trauma-informed counseling for children, teens, and adults
- Peer support from people who understand your background
- Crisis support and safety planning
- Community events where families can connect and heal together
If you or your child needs support, we are here. You can visit cherishfamilies.org or call us at 928-875-0969. We will listen without judgment and help you take your next step.
Resources
- Cherish Families – cherishfamilies.org
- National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-7233
- Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988
- Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence – (800) 782-6400
- Utah Domestic Violence Coalition – (800) 897-5465
