Taking Care of Yourself Is Not Selfish: 8 Simple Ways to Rest and Recharge

Why You Deserve Care Too



If you have spent your life taking care of others, the idea of caring for yourself might feel strange. It might even feel wrong. Many people, especially those from high-control groups or difficult family situations, were taught that their own needs do not matter. They learned to put everyone else first. They were told that thinking about themselves was selfish or sinful.

But here is the truth: taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is necessary.

You cannot keep giving if you have nothing left. You cannot help your children, support your family, or heal from hard times if you are running on empty. Rest is not a reward you earn after everything else is done. It is something your body and mind need to survive.

At Cherish Families, we believe that parents and caregivers deserve support too. You matter. Your health matters. Your wellbeing matters. And learning to care for yourself is an important part of healing.

Here are 8 simple ways to rest and recharge, even when life feels overwhelming.

1. Let Go of the Guilt

For many people, the hardest part of self-care is feeling guilty or selfish for doing it. You might feel like you should be doing something else. You might worry that resting makes you lazy or weak. You might hear old voices in your head telling you that your needs do not count.

These feelings are real, but they are not true.



Taking care of yourself does not mean you are abandoning others. It does not mean you love your family less. It means you are making sure you have the energy to keep going. It means you are filling your own cup so you have something to give.

Think about it this way: if you were sick, you would rest so you could get better. Your mind and emotions need the same kind of care. When you are worn out, stressed, or overwhelmed, rest helps you heal.

You do not need to earn rest. You do not need permission. You are allowed to take care of yourself simply because you are a person who matters.

2. Start Small

Self-care does not have to be big or fancy. You do not need a spa day or a vacation. Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference.



Small ways to care for yourself:

• Take five deep breaths when you feel stressed
• Drink a glass of water
• Step outside for a few minutes of fresh air
• Sit down while you eat instead of rushing
• Wash your face and brush your teeth before bed
• Stretch your body when you wake up

These things may seem too simple to matter. But when life is hard, small acts of care add up. They remind your body and mind that you are worth taking care of.

Start with one small thing today. You do not have to change everything at once. Just take one tiny step toward caring for yourself.

3. Rest Your Body

Your body carries a lot. It carries stress, worry, and exhaustion. It holds onto tension from hard days and sleepless nights. When you are going through difficult times, your body feels it too.

Resting your body can help:

• Go to bed a little earlier, even if it is just 15 minutes
• Lie down for a few minutes during the day if you can
• Take a warm bath or shower
• Sit in a comfortable spot and close your eyes
• Do some gentle stretching or movement
• Notice where you hold tension and try to relax those muscles

Sleep is one of the most important things you can do for your health. When you sleep, your body repairs itself. Your brain processes emotions. Your energy comes back. If you are not sleeping well, everything else feels harder.



You may not be able to get perfect sleep right now. That is okay. Just do what you can. Even small moments of rest help your body recover.

4. Rest Your Mind

Your mind works hard. It worries about the future. It replays the past. It tries to solve problems and keep everyone safe. When you have been through trauma or stress, your mind can feel like it never stops.



Resting your mind means giving it a break from all that work.

Ways to rest your mind:

• Spend a few minutes in silence
• Focus on your breathing and nothing else
• Listen to calm music or sounds from nature
• Step away from your phone and screens for a while
• Do something simple with your hands, like folding laundry or washing dishes
• Let yourself daydream or think about nothing in particular

You do not have to meditate for an hour or clear your mind completely. Just give yourself moments of quiet. Let your thoughts slow down. Your mind needs rest just like your body does.

5. Do Something You Enjoy

When life is stressful, fun can feel like a luxury you cannot afford. But doing things you enjoy is not a waste of time. It is fuel for your soul. It reminds you that life can hold good things too.



Think about what brings you joy:

• Reading a book or magazine
• Watching a favorite show
• Listening to music that makes you feel good
• Working on a craft or hobby
• Playing a game with your kids
• Spending time in nature
• Cooking or baking something you love
• Talking to a friend who makes you laugh

You may have forgotten what you enjoy. That is common for people who have spent years focusing on everyone else. It is okay to try new things and rediscover what makes you happy.

Even 10 or 15 minutes of doing something you enjoy can lift your mood and give you energy to face the rest of the day.

6. Say No When You Need To

One of the most powerful forms of self-care is learning to say no. You cannot do everything. You cannot be everywhere. And you do not have to say yes to every request that comes your way.

Saying no protects your time and energy. It keeps you from burning out. It helps you save your strength for the things that matter most.



Saying no might look like:

• Turning down an invitation when you are too tired
• Asking someone else to handle a task
• Not answering your phone when you need quiet time
• Setting limits on how much you take on at work or at home
• Telling someone you cannot help right now

If you grew up in a situation where saying no was not allowed, this might feel very hard. You might worry about making people angry or being seen as difficult. But healthy relationships allow room for no. People who care about you will understand that you have limits.

Start small. Practice saying no to little things. Over time, it will get easier.

7. Connect With People Who Lift You Up

Healing does not happen alone. We all need people who support us, listen to us, and remind us that we are not alone. Being around people who lift you up is a form of self-care.



Think about who makes you feel good:

• A friend who listens without judging
• A family member who understands what you have been through
• A support group of people with similar experiences
• A counselor or therapist who helps you process hard things
• A neighbor or community member who shows you kindness

You do not need a lot of people. Even one or two supportive connections can make a big difference. What matters is that these people treat you with respect and make you feel valued.

At Cherish Families, we offer peer support from people who understand your background. Sometimes talking to someone who has walked a similar path can help you feel less alone. Community events and support groups are also a great way to connect with others who are on the same journey.

8. Ask for Help

Asking for help is one of the bravest things you can do. It is also one of the hardest, especially if you were taught to handle everything on your own.



But you were never meant to carry everything by yourself. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you know your limits and you are willing to do what it takes to get through.

Asking for help might mean:

• Letting a friend watch your kids for an hour so you can rest
• Talking to a counselor about what you are going through
• Asking a family member to help with chores or errands
• Reaching out to an organization like Cherish Families for support
• Telling someone you trust that you are struggling

You deserve support. You deserve to have people in your corner. And there are people who want to help if you let them.

You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup

You have probably heard this saying before, but it is worth repeating. If you give and give and give without ever refilling, you will run dry. You will have nothing left for yourself or anyone else.



Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is what allows you to keep showing up for the people you love. It is what helps you heal. It is what gives you the strength to build a better future.

You matter. Your needs matter. And you are allowed to take care of yourself.

How Cherish Families Can Help

Cherish Families provides wraparound support for individuals and families, especially those from polygamous backgrounds or high-control groups. Our services include:

• Trauma-informed counseling for children, teens, and adults
• Peer support from people who understand your background
• Crisis support and safety planning
• Community events where families can connect and heal together



If you or your child needs support, we are here. You can visit cherishfamilies.org or call us at 928-875-0969. We will listen without judgment and help you take your next step.